Celebrating last-place finishes at the Olympics. Because they're there, and you're not.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

The Great Canadian Choke Story

The Globe and Mail's Christie Blatchford on the Canadian press corps's predictable return to Canada-chokes-at-the-Olympics-because-it's-day-five-and-we-don't-have-a-medal-yet stories, such as this one (as predicted):
When [Benjamin] Boukpeti [of Togo] won the little West African country's first ever Olympic medal [in kayaking], the gleeful cry went up in the Canadian press corps: "Hey, we lost to Togo! Who we going to lose to next?"
Ah! Losing to a shitty little country like Togo means that the size of our national dicks is in peril. George Carlin, looking down from the big electron, is smiling. Blatchford continues:
Then came that low, familiar rumbling, plain in questions to Alexandre Despatie and Arturo Miranda, who missed out on an expected podium appearance in the synchronized three-metre springboard: Boys, what would you say to all those Canadians back home who really want a medal?
Oh, I don't know; how about this: "Hit the gym and win your own goddamn medal, fatass."

But Blatchford's point, and it's a good one, is that the Canadian media tends to jump the gun about the country's lack of medals. Every single Olympics, the medals come -- they just come later in the Games. Hardly any medals have been awarded yet. And the media ends up looking stupid, as Rosie DiManno surely did when she demanded an apology from Cindy Klassen for winning a bronze, shortly before Klassen went and won more medals than any Canadian athlete in history.

The Olympics are a crucible that reveals a nation's insecurities, and Canada -- though it's by no means alone in this regard -- has them in spades.

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  • At 1:42 PM, August 14, 2008 , Blogger Nancy Toby said...

    LOL! I love this post. As I love Canada.

    Keep up the great work!!!!

  • At 2:52 PM, August 14, 2008 , Blogger Reese said...

    "Because they're there, and you're not."

    I love it.

    We Canadians really do need to stop complaining. It's making us look like sore losers.

  • At 5:36 PM, August 14, 2008 , Anonymous Electric Landlady said...

    Sadly the press is not alone in this. If you go by comments on news articles, Ordinary Canadians are just as bad. Take the CBC's story on Mike Brown, for instance, who missed out on the bronze by 0.09 seconds. ("Brown can't deliver Canada's 1st medal" -- THANKS, CBC.) It's followed by hundreds of comments like "Mike Brown sucks! He just doesn't have the winning spirit."

    (Fortunately there are also several saying "We're proud of you, Mike!" and one, which I treasure, saying "Canada needs to start winning medals. My self-esteem depends on it.")

    I really need to stop reading those bloody comments. *rage*


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